25 Reasons I Owe My Mother

25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.'

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
'You better pray that will come out of the carpet.'

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
'If you don't straighten up,I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!'

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
'Because I said so, that's why.'

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me.'

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.'

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
'Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.'

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!'

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
'You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone.'

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
'This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.'

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
'If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!'

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
'I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.'

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
'Stop acting like your father!'

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
'There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do.'

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
'Just wait until we get home.'

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
'You are going to get it when you get home!'

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.'

19. My mother taught me ESP.
'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?'

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
'When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.'

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.'

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
'You're just like your father.'

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
'Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?'

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.'

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.

Cancer Gene Linked to American Indians

A genetic mutation that significantly increases the risk of colon, uterine and ovarian cancer was recently linked to American Indians by researchers. Previously, scientists had traced the American Founder Mutation, which can lead to Lynch syndrome, to a German couple who immigrated to the United States in 1727. About 32,000 Americans now carry the cancer-causing mutation, many of them in Kentucky and Ohio. "this is so prevalent in Ohio and Kentucky, it's terrible," said researcher Heather Hampel of Ohio State University.

In a study published in the journal Cancer Research, researchers from the Mayo Clinic, Creighton University and Ohio State University examined the history of 41 families in Kentucky, Ohio and Texas. Many families reported Cherokee heritage which led researchers to re-examine the German findings. More exact genetic research allowed them to trace the mutant gene to an American woman who generations later married into the German family. Despite aggressive testing, the mutation has not been found in Europe, seeming to validate the Indian origin supposition.

The mutation is easily detectable via a $300 genetic test. Knowing you are predisposed to these cancers, you and your doctors can be more vigilant in watching for cancer signs and more aggressive in treating cancer if it occurs. "Colon cancer is 100% preventable if you do colonoscopies early enough," Hampel said. Future research hopes to pin the mutant gene to a specific Indian tribe which could improve preventative measures.