Moving parents to a smaller place

Recently I was treated to the exciting adventure of assisting my sisters in moving my parents to a smaller place. Dad is using a walker and sometimes a wheelchair and has balance problems. The most interesting thing I found that I want to pass along is how they involved his physical therapist.

She came to the condo before they were to move in. She knew Dad's limitations and so went around the house with blue masking tape and put marks on the wall where there should be grab bars installed. She also recommended and marked where a second banister should be installed going down to the basement.

The interesting thing for me is where some of the grab bars were installed. Of course you have the ones in the tub and near the toilet, but she also recommended one for the closet. They have a big walk in closet and there is one on the wall so Dad can steady himself while he selects his clothing. I would never have thought of that.

There is also some in the garage at the bottom of the two steps coming into the house, so Dad can hoist himself out of a wheelchair or onto the bottom step.

I'm so glad that my sisters thought to have this done and bring in a professional to decide on the placement. I saw Dad using all of them and felt much better about their situation. You might think of that if you are moving your parents to a one floor place.

Julie Andrews - My Favorite Things

To commemorate her 69th birthday, actress/vocalist Julie Andrews made a special appearance at Manhattan's Radio City Music Hall for the benefit of the AARP. One of the musical numbers she performed was "My Favorite Things" from the legendary movie "Sound Of Music." However, the lyrics of the song were deliberately changed for the entertainment of her "blue hair" audience. Here are the lyrics she recited:

Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines tied up with string,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Cadillac's, cataracts, hearing aids and glasses,
Polident, Fixodent and dentures and glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

When the pipes leak,

When the bones creak,

When the knees go bad

I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I don't feel so bad.

Hot tea and crumpets, and corn pads for bunions,
No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
Bathrobes and heat pads and hot meals they bring,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Back pains, confused brains, and no fear of sinnin,'
Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin',
And we won't mention our short shrunken frames,
when we remember our favorite things.

When the joints ache,

When the hips break,

When the eyes grow dim,

THEN I REMEMBER THE GREAT LIFE I'VE HAD, AND THEN I DON'T FEEL SO BAD.

Ms. Andrews received a standing ovation from the crowd that lasted over four minutes and repeated encores.

Easy Salad Meals

Spinach Caesar Salad: Toss 4 cups baby spinach; 1 red apple, cored and chopped; 5 drained canned anchovies; 1 cup canned kidney beans, drained and rinsed; and 1/4 cup fat-free Caesar dressing.

Greek Salad with Feta: Toss 4 cups shredded Romaine lettuce; 1 cucumber, peeled and chopped; 1 green bell pepper, seeded and chopped; 1 small red onion, cut into rings; 4 ounces crumbled Feta cheese; 1 tablespoon chopped pitted olives; 1 teaspoon dried oregano and 1/4 cup fat-free vinaigrette.

Smoked Salmon Frisee Salad: Toss 4 cups frisee lettuce, 2 minced shallots, 1 seeded and diced red bell pepper, 4 ounces chopped smoked salmon and 1/4 cup low-fat creamy dill dressing.

Lobster Gazpacho Salad: Toss 2 Roma tomatoes, chopped; 1 cucumber, peeled and chopped; 1 green bell pepper, seeded and chopped; 1 small red onion, chopped; 2 celery stalks, chopped; 6 ounces chopped cooked lobster meat; 1 tablespoon lemon juice; 2 teaspoons Worcestershire; and salt and pepper to taste. Drizzle the salad with 2 teaspoons extra-virgin olive oil just before serving.

Midweek Funny - Funeral Procession

A woman was leaving a convenience store with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one.

Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit bull on a leash. Behind her, a short distance back, were about 200 women walking single file.

The woman was so curious that she respectfully approached the woman walking the dog and said, "I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I have never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"

"My husband's."

"What happened to him?"

The woman replied, "My dog attacked and killed him."

She inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"

The woman answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my husband when the dog turned on her."

A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two women.

"Can I borrow the dog?"

"Get in line."