Senior Lament

Age creeps up on us all. I saw this in a newsletter and couldn't resist sharing. Unfortunately, no author was credited; but I'm sure we can all identify with his/her thoughts. Hope this gives you a chuckle.

Senior Lament

I started with nothing, and I still have most of it.
My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.
I finally got my head together and now my body is falling apart.
It's easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.
It's not hard to meet expenses -- they're everywhere.
The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
If all is not lost, where is it?
It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
These days I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter.
I go somewhere to get something and then wonder, What am I here after?