Do You Have Caregiver Stress?

This hasn't been a good year for my Dad. After three trips to the hospital and a difficult two-month stint at a nursing home, he's home and we're caring for him. It's been particularly tough on my mom.

Dad's loss of physical and mental ability has placed an extra burden on Mom who's feeling the effects of aging herself. My sister made the comment, "You come into the world as a baby and you leave as a baby." In many ways that seems to be true. There is so little Dad can do for himself now that he relies on Mom for nearly everything. So much of her time and energy is devoted to helping Dad, there is little time left to meet her own needs. It's like when we were all children, except she's 60 years older now!

After a few months we noticed a change in Mom's behavior. Usually calm and pleasant, she started snapping at Dad, seemed tired and cranky all the time, couldn't concentrate, and wasn't feeling well. She had caregiver stress. We shipped her off to my sister's in another state for a week of fun and pampering. It did her a world of good. Mom returned refreshed, renewed and able to dig in again.

If you know a caregiver, you should know the signs of caregiver stress. I found this list of symptoms from the Alzheimer's Association particularly helpful:

• Denial about the disease and its effects on the person who's been diagnosed.
• Anger that there is no effective treatment or cure, or that the person has progressed beyond the possibility of cure.
• Social withdrawal from friends and activities that previously were pleasurable.
• Anxiety about facing another day and what the future holds.
• Depression begins to affect the ability to cope.
• Exhaustion makes it nearly impossible to complete necessary daily tasks.
• Sleeplessness caused by a never-ending list of concerns.
• Irritability leads to moodiness and triggers negative responses and reactions.
• Lack of concentration makes it difficult to perform familiar tasks.
• Health problems begin to take their toll, both mentally and physically.

If you are a caregiver and notice any of these symptoms, it's time to take a break. If family members can't cover while you take a little vacation, call local nursing homes. Many multi-level care facilities offer respite care. They'll care for your family member on a short-term basis -- a few days to a couple of weeks -- to give you a break. If you're a caregiver, don't neglect your own needs. You need to stay healthy and happy if you're going to care effectively for someone else.